Cross cultural relationships

esperanza

Okay, maybe this isn't the right kind of question to post here, but does anyone have any information on having a cross cultural relationship with a guy (or girl) from a Latin culture? I ask 'cause lots of friends I know are dating Mexican guys, and people keep saying that you gotta watch out because the Mexican culture is different and you can't assume that your relationship is going to be the same as one with somebody from your own culture. Are there any tips about how to navigate these kinds of issues?

Mauricio

Hi, I'm probably not the best person to answer this but as I am in a cross cultural relationship all I can tell you is that dating anyone no matter where from, is always different. But yes, maybe someone from another country could be a bit of a cultural shock... or a nice surprice :) you never know. You say lots of your friends are dating Mexicans, maybe it is because they like the differences. Anyway, does any one else have any comments? It is a very interesting question. Thanks Esperanza

I am interested in a guy speaks Spanish and muy poco English. i have been wanting to learn Spanish for a very long time, and now I have a great incentive! :) Anyway, The language barrier is really tough and I can't tell if he is not interestedor if it's the language thing. He told my Mexican friend that it was the language thing, and I think he's a little shy. problem is, I am very shy myself! I just was wondering if there is any advice for overcoming these barriers aside from learning the new language. (Which I am trying to do) I have had to be a little more aggressive than I am used to being (the shyness thing) and I am afraid that he will perceive me as too forward. I have heard that Mexican men think American girls are wild anyway.

There is so little information out there available for the white girl who wants to date a Latino guy! When I was in a two-year cross-cultural relationship (wholly conducted in Spanish--he didn't speak a word of English), I searched for a book on How to Love a Latino Man and couldn't find anything relevant. You're definitely doing the right thing by learning Spanish first. Although it may sound romantic to fall in love with someone you can't actually talk to, it's pretty impractical. To really fall for someone, you have to get to know them, and that means that you have to be able to talk and share your hearts and minds. You don't ever really know a person until you've shared a heart-to-heart conversation. And in a cross-cultural relationship, communication is even MORE essential. There are so many opportunities for misunderstandings. The best way to begin getting to know this guy better is to tell him that you're learning Spanish (_estoy aprendiendo español_), and could you practice your Spanish with him _(¿puedo practicar contigo?_). He may find that he really enjoys teaching you, and the interchange of language bond you together. Good luck! íBuena suerte!

mdietrich

Is it unusual for a latin man to declare "te quiero" - and definately meaning it in a romantic sense - fairly early in a relationship? It surprised me, but perhaps this is a cultural difference, that there might be a tendency to feel intimate more quickly on his part. I'm sure people vary in every culture, just this surprised me as it seemed like it was too soon for that sort of thing. Is "te quiero" more akin to a declaration of interest or infatuation - even perhaps in the more literal translation more like lust, rather than a serious statement of "being in love" in the way most Americans might take such a declaration? Marcia

From my personal experience--and everyone out there can correct me if I'm wrong!--it's actually MORE likely for a Latino to say, "Te quiero," soon than it is for an American guy to say, "I love you." That's because, in many Latin cultures, young men and women date to see if they'd be compatible spouses, whereas in American culture we often date for fun or pleasure. I have asked many Latin guys what the difference between "Te quiero" and "Te amo" is, and they tell me there is absolutely no difference when they say them to their beloved. Anyone else have a different experience?

Hija-de-Sol

Hi! Wow this might be a late reply but I had write as I am struggling with the same thing! I was dating a guy for a little while in latin america and he started saying te quierro to me as well and still does to this day!....but we are not dating anymore! (it is a long story) but so I asked a lot of latino men what the significance of this is and and most people told me it is something people say to someone they really care about....whether it be family, good friends or in less serious relationships. If they say te amo, then it is serious or they just want to come back to your country with you! haha! Anyway, hope this helps you....I still struggle with it's significance given my case! Suerte! cuidate hija del sol :D if anyone is interested in practising spanish I would love to keep mine up and learn more! Cheers

Andrea

I am not young but I have traveled throughout Central America and in Cuba and many men have told this married woman "te quiero". I have taken the attitude that they are signalling that they are interested in me and it is worth a shot to see how I react. Frankly, it is a little like bird-song. The male bird sings to see what female bird will come closer. I have been in too many situations (myself or helping friends) where Latin Machismo meets North American feminism. It can be as simple as misunderstandings or as serious as rape. Just recently in the news there have been stories about US women living in San Miguel Mexico reporting to police rapes and demanding action. Mexican females rarely report rapes since they are embedded in a culture where the shame is theirs and the police blame them for the rape. Now love affairs are not close to this but keep your eyes open about what you want from the relationship and what your suitor might want. Latin men are serious and persistent in their courting. Have fun but keep your wits about you.

kjcjr1

I have been in a relationship with a women for the last eight months who is from the DR. She has been here for the last twenty years, and I do agree about getting to know someone better you need communication. Latin women are very passionate, loving, loyal, and above all else muy caliente. I'm learning Spanish now because it is important to me to be able to communicate with her in both languages. te quiero is considered the in between I like you and I love you.

Emily

In my household, we generally use Te quiero when we are referring to loving a family member. For example, a mother would tell her daughter te quiero because she loves her but she would tell her husband te amo because she is in love with him. Te amo is a much stronger love than saying te quiero.

windchaser

Doesn't "te quiero" mean "I want you"? Granted, men in love want the objects of their affections, but, if I'm correct, I'd rather hear "te amo" from a suitor. As far as Latin men getting together with white women? That was my parents' case and the relationship lasted under ten years. Things rapidly went downhill for my mom when she moved to his stomping grounds (Panama) and he allowed his hormones to run wild. This isn't a one-sided sob story from my mother: my dad verified and has apologized repeatedly to me. Although they both have told me that they loved each other like no other and I would probably allow myself to become involved with a Latin man, the macho sex machine is probably an accurate description and, no matter what culture you grew up in, important to take into account before getting serious.

Lenguas

"Te quiero" could mean both "I want you" and "I love you". But of course, in this case it means "I love you".

Pablo-in-Wisconsin

Can someone comment on whether latino women as inclined to have an affair with a married man as caucasion women? Yo hablo Español muy poquito y una mujer joven no hablas Inglés. We met at work. Pablo Pablo, I have corrected your language. If you have a problem with that, please give me a PM. Antonio, moderator.

Mauricio

Well... that depends on what you mean by how inclined caucasion woman are to having affairs... :? Mauricio.

C_Norita

In regards to esperanza: Yes, you can't assume that your relationship is going to be the same, as one with somebody from your own culture, and you can't assume that it will be much different; one shouldn't, anyways. I agree with Mauricio, that dating anyone, no matter where they are from, is always different. In regards to kelli: I have had two Mexican boyfriends in the past. My ex-ex-novio; my first boyfriend, neither knew, nor spoke much English. Just the basics, like: hello, thank you, etc. My ex-novio (now only mi amigo) knows and speaks English very well; basically like a native. Before I met the first guy, I had already begun to learn Spanish on my own, but I didn't make much of an effort to learn it on a regular basis, like now; an everyday or every other day basis. Therefore, I hardly knew any of the language. Later on down the road, I put forth a strong effort, because I obviously wanted to learn Spanish, and because I wanted to be able to communicate with him. Once we started dating, so I could tell him how I felt about our lack of understanding the others language, he accompanied me to my computer. Well, it's not mine. It's my fathers. :) It was there, where I logged-on to freetranslation.com, and typed in; basically, that I was learning Spanish, and that it may take a few months for me to learn, in order for us to fully understand one anothers words. I asked him to not give up on us. He agreed. He was learning English, and we were surprisingly understanding each other. A few weeks later, he stopped calling me, and answering my calls. I called him at his house number, and his cousin (who speaks English just as good as a native) answered the phone. I asked his cousin if he knew why he (my ex-ex) was not communicating with me. The cousin told me that he said it had to do with something; something that some of his other cousins agreed was true, and some agreed was not true. I really felt that he wasn't talking to me, because our relationship was over; as far as he was concerned, and that that was because of our language barrier. There IS a cross-cultural couple that I learned about on tv. They both said that neither one of them knew a word of the others language, but because they cared so much about each other, they learned the others language, and now fluently conversate with one another. It's not the same for everyone, but who knows? Be realistic, but stay positive. Maybe it can be the same for you two, too. What I am saying, yes; there's more :) , is that my advice for overcoming the barriers that you explained, is if you are not shy about your feelings for him, throw the shyness to the side, while willingly learning español. :wink: Was that good advice? :? P.S. Obviously, it has been over a year since your post. With that, have you achieved learning español? What about your FRIEND? :)

mdietrich

Well, a bit of a brief update and I think this is a good conversation that I have come back to see comments posted slowly over the months. I am very much involved with this man now, despite thinking that it can't possibly work (I am around 14-15 years older, in the middle of a seperation and now divorce, the language and cultural differences, etc.). I have learned a *lot *more Spanish, yet have so much more to learn before I am fluent, and it has been frustrating at times with the language barrier. His not knowing much English puts more pressure on me to communicate well, which can be good at times (motivation) and bad at other times when I need to know if I am saying what I mean, or understanding what he is saying. I often automatically repeat what I think is being said in English wanting an affirmation or negation, and he tends to take it as a sign I understand. Lots of little, or at times, big miscommunications. Sometimes funny things as when on the phone I said I was pulling off the "culos" instead of "culas" of shrimp. (If there is an automatic censor, pulling off 'bad word refering to the backend' instead of saying 'tails' of the shrimp.) Now, I feel like I need to ask another cultural question. Are latin men more inclined to be jealous and possessive? Disallowing male amigos, wanting to know where you are and what you are doing all the time. thanks

Esoterica1

Hi Everyone, Okay you all are going to think I'm definitely weird, but here goes. I was married to an American for 19 years and he walked out on me and broke my heart. However, we had already bought tickets to Cancun and went as friends. I found out there that I LOVE HISPANIC men. In fact, I'm in LUST with Hispanic men. When I hear a Hispanic man speaking Spanish, I literally MELT. I had a LOT of fun in Mexico dating 4 different Mexican men when I was there (by the way, Hispanic men from Latin countries tend to like larger sized women. Not ALL of them do, but a majority do. It was cool walking through Cancun being treated like a 5' 9" skinny blonde would be in the US and I'm NOT exaggerating). One was bilingual, the rest were Spanish only and don't ask how we communicated because I still don't know but it had something to do with a whole lot of Tequilla : ) Now, one of the guys, I REALLY liked was named Miguel. He after one date was saying "te quiero." He also asked me to marry him. He sang me love songs in Spanish at a Mexican karoake bar. We danced the night away. I thought it strange, and told him I'd think about it. He was studying to be doctor and lived in Tabasco. I thought it was a line to, well, you know. At any rate, I came back to the US and promptly went on Yahoo personals to find a Hispanic man. I lived in the Midwest at the time and none were available there. I searched profiles in Texas and Miami. Anyway, I met Jose and he became my husband w/i a year. No regrets! As for Miguel, he stayed in contact w/ me calling and writing for about 2 years after my Cancun trip. Side note: Mexican men kiss differently. The four I dated in Cancun all did this lip sucky thing on the bottom lip.. kind of light and fluttery.. can't really explain it in writing... very hot! Now, my husband is Cuban and was raised in the US since he was 4 years old. However, his family is 100% Cuban and Cuban culture all the way. So, I'd say that I have an Americanized Cuban. Here's what I can tell you about Cubans (and I know some of this is generalized but I've met a lot of his family and tons of Cubans since being in Miami, where I now live): -Strong family ties -STUBBORN headed, the males are dominant -Tend toward a tad of jealousy for their women : ) -Talk VERY loud. It sounds like they are fighting at family gatherings but it's not fighting. -Tend for conservativeness in beliefs (not necessarily in practice). -Love Cuban food (chicken, beans, and rice.. Cuban coffee) -Like Cuban music -Cook more on top of the stove than in the oven (many Cuban women are this way for some reason). -Tend toward Catholicism -In Miami, it's VERY anti-Castro sentiment. I'm going to be blunt here and then I'll duck the flying tomatoes. This is the truth the way I see it and MANY Cuban women see it- there is a cultural thing in the Hispanic community called Machismo. NOT ALL Hispanic men but a LOT do tend toward promiscuity even when in relationships although the tend to NOT leave the family. My Cuban (he doesn't mind me calling him that affectionately as I'm his American) is true blue in this area. He would never ever ever cheat but he was raised by Cuban women w/o much male influence. His brother is traditional Cuban, lol. Now, someone is going to come on here and say I'm generalizing and this isn't true, blase blase skip. It IS true. Live in Miami, talk to many Hispanic men, and most will ADMIT it openly. It is cultural. I'm hit on ALL the time by Hispanic men who are married and I prominently wear my wedding ring. Now, back to my preoccupation w/ Hispanic men, lol. I can honestly say that I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Hispanic culture and people. I like the way families stick together and are family oriented much more so than in the US, in my opinion. I LOVE the passion of Hispanic men or now since being married, man. I'm telling you, once you go Hispanic, you won't go back, lol. (Okay, I'm probably insulting all of Mauricio's American male students here. Sorry guys, this is just my opinion.) I don't know if it's those big brown eyes, dark hair, tan complexion, Spanish accent, the stumbling over English words or what, but there is NOTHING that compares to a Hispanic man in my personal opinion and experience. Remember, these are only my thoughts. I told you in the beginning that I'm probably weird, but I've never met a Hispanic male, young or old, short or tall, skinny or fat, that I didn't feel was hot. : ) My husband's first language is Spanish and that is why I'm trying to learn it. He thinks in Spanish and I want to converse w/ him in his native language. Plus, I want to know what he's saying when he's mad at me... I don't quite believe he's always telling how beautiful I am in those moments, lol. Oh, another thing, in the Latin community here in Miami, which is equivalent to Havana Cuba, there is a LOT of drinking among Hispanic males. Corona beer particularly : ) My husband doesn't drink at all. He's unusual. In Mexico, I talked to the people about their culture and was told that alcohol is practically a staple in most households. Some more truths about Mexico and Mexican men specifically: -Very economically poor country. The people are very proud. They want to WORK for their money. They don't want hand outs. -VERY likely for many Mexican unmarried males to share one apartment. -Wages are INCREDBLY low. I was shocked at what they make. -Government is quite corrupt there. The police are part of the govt and corrupt in many cases. If they catch an American say smoking Weed, it's likely they will simply arrest them, take ALL their money, and then let them go but tell them they can't leave the hotel. -There are banditos if driving to Mexico from Texas. One must be careful. Border towns can be FUN but also very dangerous. -Heavy drug trade and crime related to such. This is not to say that most Mexicans are party to this, and in fact, most are not. Nonetheless, it does exist to a high degree. -Mexican women tend toward submissiveness (moreso than Cuban women). Also, there is much domestic violence in the Hispanic community. People don't tend to get involved in other people's business. They are not used to our American laws and when they come to the US it's not unlikely that these behaviors follow them. -There is a HUGELY high incidence of cervical cancer due to HPV virus in Mexican women (not sure about other Hispanic cultures) in Mexico. There are GYN wards in many hospitals w/ women dying. HPV is the human papilloma virus and can cause cervical cancer. It is spread by sexual contact. I have a Hispanic friend who studied to be a doctor in Mexico, and she did an internship at several hospitals there and was shocked at the high incidence of women dying from HPV related cervical cancer. -The poverty is beyond imaginable in many parts of Mexico. Very sad. These are hard working people/families doing back breaking work for the lowest of low wages in the worst conditions. Very heart breaking. For a long time, I wante to move near Nogales Mexico and help the poor people there. As for me and my hubby, if Cuba ever beomes free, we'd like to head back there and assist in rebuilding the country. I know a lot about Cuba if anyone is interested. In short: -Their is SEVERE economic crisis in Cuba. -The Castro regime rations food. They get food vouchers each month, which is ever enough, but even the stores do not have enough food. The Cuban people NEED family and friends to come to the US and then to send them back dollars to help w/ food. The government gets a % of whatever you send to a family member there. -Healthcare is free -They have black out periods where at certain times of the day, no electricity. -They work for little compensation. -College is free. -Cubans cannot criticize the government w/o risking SEVERE repercussions. This is why you seldom see on TV Cubans in Cuba talking adversely about their situation. Now, Cubans in the US, like Miami, will and do speak out. This is how we know the truth of what is going on over there. -Many risk their lives and the lives of their children to come to the US illegally. Personally, I SUPPORT them 100%. If I had to live like that, I'd risk it too and wouldn't wait for the legality of paperwork and the government to mess w/ me for wanting to leave. -There is little crime in Cuba because punishment is swift and severe. The streets are pretty safe at night there. -The BEST place to work in Cuba is for the hotels because they can get tips from Americans and other tourists. A dollar in Cuba goes WAY further than here in the US. -They don't have access to regular meat. Chickens are even scarse. They eat a lot of carbohydraetes like black beans and rice, Cuban coffee, things made w/ flour. Didn't mean to write a book here. These are just my thoughts and opinions.

Esoterica1

[quo]*Quote from * mdietrich Well, a bit of a brief update and I think this is a good conversation that I have come back to see comments posted slowly over the months. I am very much involved with this man now, despite thinking that it can't possibly work (I am around 14-15 years older, in the middle of a seperation and now divorce, the language and cultural differences, etc.). I have learned a *lot *more Spanish, yet have so much more to learn before I am fluent, and it has been frustrating at times with the language barrier. His not knowing much English puts more pressure on me to communicate well, which can be good at times (motivation) and bad at other times when I need to know if I am saying what I mean, or understanding what he is saying. I often automatically repeat what I think is being said in English wanting an affirmation or negation, and he tends to take it as a sign I understand. Lots of little, or at times, big miscommunications. Sometimes funny things as when on the phone I said I was pulling off the "culos" instead of "culas" of shrimp. (If there is an automatic censor, pulling off 'bad word refering to the backend' instead of saying 'tails' of the shrimp.) Now, I feel like I need to ask another cultural question. Are latin men more inclined to be jealous and possessive? Disallowing male amigos, wanting to know where you are and what you are doing all the time. thanks[/quo] To answer your question w/ my personal OPINION- yes, they are. My husband is jealous and possessive but it's not too overboard for me. He doesn't "act" on his jealous or possessive feelings. I like him being this way. I feel special and loved. He does NOT like me to have male friends. It is okay w/ him if I converse w/ people say on the Language Express site BUT he wants to approve who I talk to. He said it was okay to talk to this over 50 year old married Hispanic man that contacted me, but if the thought the guy was flirting, he'd nix it. As for your communication issue, when I was in Mexico, Miguel and I (see my other post on this thread about that) used a lot of hand gestures and there were usually people around to translate for us now and then. I love your "culos" mistake. I learned the dirty stuff first, which is an advantage of living w/ a Hispanic : )BTW, Miguel was 25 years old when we met. I was 35. Age is but a number. Don't let that bother you. Heck, if you've got a hot young Hispanic male interested in you, GIRL- GO FOR IT! : ) : ) : )

Esoterica1

[quo]*Quote from * Andrea I am not young but I have traveled throughout Central America and in Cuba and many men have told this married woman "te quiero". I have taken the attitude that they are signalling that they are interested in me and it is worth a shot to see how I react. Frankly, it is a little like bird-song. The male bird sings to see what female bird will come closer. I have been in too many situations (myself or helping friends) where Latin Machismo meets North American feminism. It can be as simple as misunderstandings or as serious as ******. Just recently in the news there have been stories about US women living in San Miguel Mexico reporting to police rapes and demanding action. Mexican females rarely report rapes since they are embedded in a culture where the shame is theirs and the police blame them for the ******. Now love affairs are not close to this but keep your eyes open about what you want from the relationship and what your suitor might want. Latin men are serious and persistent in their courting. Have fun but keep your wits about you.[/quo] I agree w/ all you've said here as it definitely relates to my personal experiences w/ Hispanic males. Also, you are SO RIGHT about persistence! Want to make a Hispanic male want you like there is no tomorrow? Say NO on the first several dates. His head will be spinning! : )

ladyemero

I've been dating my partner for nearly 3 years and cross cultural barriers do exist, a lot can be resolved with good communication, although different values and expectations can make things difficult sometimes. although I would say as others have already, it really depends on the people involved, their background , how they treat women/men and how comfortable they are with themselves (this can make a big difference) My partner took a while to realise I didn't need protecting every 5 mins... he laughs now but I suppose he was just following the way he was brought up and what he thought a woman needed Yes feminism doesn't sit well with him at all he feels I'm too strong that way, well I'm an independent , clever Scottish woman with good self esteem, does that make me threatening? I didn't get the idea of how close a family could be until I met him, It helped me realise, how I wasn't that close to my own family, so I am very grateful for that My partner speaks fluent english and that makes it easier for me I have lots of tapes and books and have started the Rocket Spanish interactive, which I feel have really helped my spanish as I lack confidence in speaking. it's nice to hear some Latin American Spanish as that is what I am used to cheers Ladyemero

Esoterica1

Hello Everyone, I thought I'd post my story as it may help someone here : ). My American husband of 19 years decide to divorce me : (. We went to Mexico as friends to celebrate our divorce as we'd already made the plans before the divorce thing happened. I realized on that trip that I LOVE Hispanic culture, I LOVED Hispanic men, I LOVED Hispanic food, and Latin men tend to like chunky women, of which, I am one of those : ). About the "te quiero" thing early in a relationship. I met Miguel, who was studying to be a doctor, while in Mexico. He was saying "te quiero" the first night we went out. Yeah, those Latin men.. what can I say..... before I left Mexico, he asked me to marry him. I seriously considered the proposal; However, he wanted me to move to Tabasco as he was not interested in coming to the US. I was in EXTREME infatuation and nearly decided to go for it, but my better judgment kicked in and I didn't marry Miguel. However, I've never forgotten him. Miguel spoke very little English, and I spoke no Spanish at the time but between the Tequila, and romantic effects, well, we were talking the same language by the end of my 2 week trip. I came home from that trip in tears. I KNEW that I HAD to be near the Hispanic culture, learn the language, and I wanted my next relationship w/ a Hispanic man. So, I went onto Yahoo personals searching Texas and Miami. I lived in Illinois at the time. I found my Cuban (he does not mind me referring to him that way as I'm his American girl). I met Jose and we married 6 months later. It would have been sooner but I had to wait until the divorce was final. That was nearly 8 years ago and it was an AMAZING decision. I did HATE Miami but loved Jose and his family and knew that he was my forever partner. Jose's remaining family were elderly and many have passed away but they all loved me and taught me how to cook Cuban food and they dealt w/ my lack of Spanish skills : ). After 8 years in Miami, where there is a strong Hispanic presence but also a TON of crime and high cost of living, I asked Jose since moving to Cuba wasn't an option if we could get closer to Mexico. A year ago, we moved to New Mexico and I LOVE IT HERE!!!!! The Hispanic presence is wonderful, Food is amazing, and culture is rich. I'm SO HAPPY!!!! I want to foray into Mexico but Jose needs to get his citizenship first. He's a permanent resident and can get it at any time. Problems in cross-cultural relationships-- some of this is just my experience but here goes--- -As passionate and amazing as Hispanic men are, they are also dominant and headstrong : ) At least every single one I've met is. Machismo! This is difficult for a dominant female such as myself. Jose and I lock horns all the time, but part of my joy in life is bickering w/ my wonderful husband! : ) -Family ties- The cultural value placed on family is much stronger w/ Hispanic families than American families. I've had to deal w/ some tough stuff w/ his brother and it took a LONG time for Jose to finally boot the guy out of our lives. They take a lot from one another. I was raised w/ much firmer boundaries even w/ family. However, I don't mind at all the trend toward generations living together and helping of the elderly in the family. I like that trait. -As for Cubans in Miami- they tend toward conservatism and I'm a die hard liberal. Jose and I deal w/ it but don't talk politics much. : ) I've noticed here in New Mex it's very liberal based, heee hee heee :). -Religion- wasn't a problem for us. Jose's family was Catholic but not strict Catholic. My protestant views were okay w/ them. Sometimes things will happen and Jose will say something like "Hon, that's not CUBAN!" So, I am continually learning about cultural differences. I do try to cook Cuban food, and have a lot of Cuban music around the house so that Jose can feel close to his Cuban culture still. Whereas being near Mexican culture gives him people to speak fluent Spanish w/ the cultures are different. I've not worked on the Rocket Spanish course as much as I should have : ). However, every time I do a lesson, Jose comments on how much better I'm speaking. I LOVE being married to a Hispanic man. I LOVE Hispanic cultures- all of them. I love the language, music, food..... I've never been happier in my life. Oh, about that language barrier..... Jose can speak English fluently but doesn't write it very well. He assists me w/ my Spanish as its his first language. So, we did not have a language barrier. However, I would NEVER recommend foregoing a relationship that you feel incredibly pulled toward due to a language barrier. Spanish is not that difficult to learn and the language of the heart will get you through, plus some translators, a good dictionary, and you are set to go. I recommend cross-cultural relationships because they are so interesting. The different views, how we were raised, different value systems, food, music, etc... it makes for a really wonderfully exciting experience. I've been with Jose going on 8 years now and I couldn't imagine my life without him. Sincerely, Esoterica

robinsalsman

Ok, I'm not into looking for a relationship. Been married 39 years. That's right - I'm old. What I would like to know is how to innocently say, I like you, to a friend-male or female-without having them recoil. While I'm at it, I know you've heard it lots, but Mauricio and Amy, you guys are the best! Alexandra too. I enjoyed the whole experience of Rocket Spanish so much. Just finished the platinum level and am working hard to actually one day speak fluently - still a long way off.

Isabelle5

mucho intéressante este problema cultural Vivimos el mismo en Québec canada Hay gentes que hablan solamente ingles y viceversa Pero, hay muchos que hablan frances y ingles Es réalmente Muy agradable de concocer dos culturas Excuse mi pobre espanol Tengo casi 94 anos y me gustaria concocer mucho mas el idioma Antes de ..........

robinsalsman

He disfrutado de tus comentarios, pero todavia necesito una respuesta a mi pregunta. Como se dice, me gusta tu, inocentemente?

ricardo-rich

Hola Robin, Usando el verbo caer se dice "me caes bien".Literally you fall on me well. But forget literal. Put in your Spanish mind as I like you. Mi esposa y yo tenemos 42 años juntos, soy viejo tambien. Como tú, algún dia me gustaría hablar español con fluidez. Eso es mi meta. Saludos, Rich

robinsalsman

Hola Rich y gracias, Eso es lo que yo pensaba. Justo lo realicé escuchando una lección anterior. Yo olvido de todo. Soy pastor y quiero al ministro a latinos local. Por eso quiero aprender Español. Trabaja duro y Dios te bendiga! Robin

Cristian-Montes-de-Oca

Hola! Robin y demas amigos! Me caes bien, me agradas, eres buena onda! eres a toda madre! (this last one its even more slang and doesnt apply to other latinamerican countries)or simply, me gusta tu forma de ser ( i like the way you are) ....Im mexican and we use these expressions. this are several ways of letting someone you that you "like" them, but not really in a "loving" way, this means you can say this either to men or women, and it has nothing to do with having a relationship, its like saying in english..."you are cool, i dig you, or i like u, you are great! i like the way you are!", etc.... NOW about "te quiero" and "te amo"....in english speaking countries like the US, you only have "i love you" and this is a deep, heart, love feeling, something you might say to your love one, couple or even your family, but of course you wouldnt say this to a friend or a person you just met!....in spanish , at least in Mexico, we use "te quiero" and " te amo"... The "te amo" expression , applys the same way "i love you" or at least very similar, we use this with our girlfriends (or boyfriends) and its not easy to say it, because it means you really reallly love someone!!.... Now, Te quiero (which literally means "i want you") its used to describe good feellings for a person, but not neceserally means you "love" her or him, per se!...its not as "deep" as "te amo" but it does have some feeling involded there!...so probably you wouldnt say "te quiero" to a stranger, but of course you could easily say this to a girl you are just dating or a very good friend!!!!...there is a mexican song i like a lot! and its called..."amar y querer", made famous by mexican singer José José (yeah!! double José there!)....the song bassically says that its way easier to "querer" rather than "amar" , here is the begining of the song: Casi todos sabemos querer pero pocos sabemos amar, es que amar y querer no es igual, amar es sufrir querer es gozar Almost all of us know how to "love" but only a few of us know how to really love because loving and "loving" is not the same to love is to suffer, to "love" is to enjoy!... Well, i think you get the idea! finally , the pre-chorus says: el querer pronto puede acabar,el amor no conoce el final, in other words, love is forever but "querer" can easily end! @ESOTERICA! I really liked the way you described your story and your experience in Mexico, and also you beeing married to a latino (cuban) man. And i could say , being a 100% mexican man( living in Mexico, born and raised here), that a lot of what you said is very very true!... but of course there is always "an exception to the rule"....my parents have been married for 25 years, they are both 100% mexican and in this case my dad doesnt have any trace of "machismo", meaning that he doesnt treat my mom in a dominant male enviromment, actually its quite the oppossite, it depends in both the education of the male and the female, in other words, if a woman allows a men to be the dominant one, he might probably be, but if the woman "draws a line" then the male with not treat her baddly, Of course, there is a difference between being a "mexican man" and being a "macho", we do like to take care of our women and tend to be "jealous" , again , in general terms, cause there are some exceptions, and also we have this "new" thing where actually women are the dominant ones in general terms, but not to a point of "mistreating" men, just , in other words, be the house "leader" (excuse my poor english)!. In Mexico , i have met a lot of men (including my own brothers, friends, my dad and myself) that are , what we call here "mandilones"..mandilones comes from a word in spanish "mandil" which can be translated as apron or the thing women used to wear when they are cooking, or when guys have a BBQ in the back yard and where this to protect their clothes!....anyway!!...again this "mandilones" guys (like me!) do household things, cook , take care of the kids and are happy this way!!!...meaning that we are 100% equal as women in all the aspects of life, and of course we love to take care of our girls and buy them flowers, and cook for them and give her massages and stuff like that, are what mandilones do! hahahhaah i know its funny but its true!!!...so in a few words Mexico has "machos", "mandilones" and also guys in between!!!... About corruption, thats 100% true, and very sad! its a monster and its very hard to stop it!!....about poverty, well, i might tell you that you visited one of the poorest areas of the Mexico (southeast and south). Even if it is true, that Mexico in general is poor, that is not the rule, if you ever have a chance to visit Monterrey, Guadalajara, Mexico City, Tijuana or Culiacan, for example, you will find luxury cars, hotels, people wearing suits, big buildings, casinos, mansions, and all kind of luxury stuff, and at those same places you will also find homeless people, kids working in the streets, prostitutes and poor people!..in other words , and as we mexicans say...Mexico es un pais de contrastes...Mexico is a country with a lot of contrasts....it goes from extremely rich to extremly poor!!!... The other thing you got right is the importance of family!!!! no ones messes with my family!!! its sacred!! hahaha....we love our aunts, uncles, couins, grandpas, brothers, etc!!!....we love eating together, and sharing our things with them, again, there are some exceptions, but in general our "familias" are very united!!!! :D i love my country and i wish it could be a better one! what that is what we have right now and we need to work hard to get a better life, there is something you guys didnt mention a lot and thats FOOD and MUSIC!!!....its an important thing when talking about Cross cultural relationships!!....Mexicans live to eat good food, and we have plenty of it all over the country!!!! nothing better than eating "mole poblano" in Puebla, Fish tacos in Baja, "gorditas de chicharrron" in Mexico city, "Tortas ahogadas or birria " in Guadalajara, "Cabrito" in Nuevo leon, Good sea food in Sinaloa, Handmaded flour tortillas with "carne asada" in Sonora, or "tamales" in Chiapas!!!....and about music, since it varies from region to region, its hard to explain it, but we love dancing, singning and PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.... AND WE ARE LOUD! as you already said, when my family joins us to eat all together its hard to understand because everyones is talking out loud and laughing, telling jokes or singning!!!! I LOVE THAT!!! anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i will be glad to answer any questions about my country, culture and language (thats another mexican trademark : Service and helping others) Saludos desde Tijuana Baja California México....su amigo siempre Cris!

robinsalsman

Gracias Chris, Ya tu me cae bien.

Cristian-Montes-de-Oca

De nada Robin!! tu tambien me caes bien! ;)

robinsalsman

Reading noticias latinas I found the following frase. El 53 % de las personas extranjeras en California reportaron ser latinas. I can see that subsequent nouns are affected by the word personas so that they are all femine. This gets a little tough for us newbies to figure out sometimes. Are there any tricks to tell when to change gender and when it no longer applies?

Cristian-Montes-de-Oca

Hola Robin! Yes, you made a very good observation there! indeed the rest of the sentence is affected by the gender, thats why they say "latinas" at the end, if , for example we changed the word "personas" for another one this will happen. El 53 % de la poblacion extranjera en California reportò ser latina. (poblacion=population is already in plural and its also femenine gender, Reportaron changes to Reportò, since Poblacion doens end with "s" or "es" as normal plural words, so its managed as a non-plural word...the word poblaciones is the plural of poblacion,meaning a lot of diffrent populations). El 53 % de los pobladores extranjeros en California reportaron ser latinos. (pobladores=people/population, this is also in plural and male). Now, it is a bit tough to figure this out sometimes, probably the only trick i know is that usually femenine words end with "a", and masculine with "o" or "ar/or"...this doesnt apply 100% of the time, for example the word for water, "agua" ends with "a" but it is male, "El agua" and not "la agua"...but in general masc/fem words end this way ;"perro/perra", "niño/niña", "Lobo/loba"...and on the rest of the words with only one gender "la puerta" the door, "la mesa" the table, "la casa" the house, "el hogar" the home, "el foco" the lightbulb, "el horno!" the oven,, etc etc.... I hope this helps you a bit!!..que tengas un excelente dia amigo Robin!. Saludos!

robinsalsman

Gracias Cristian, What I was asking is when the extended sentence might no longer be affected by the previous gender. I guess logic should show me most time. This particular sentence affects about 3 different words, but I've seen other times when the nouns have gone back to masculine (for instance), and I wasn't sure why. Robin

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